Category: Poetry

When the Door Shuts

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Did you ever chance to wonder
When you’re sitting there all bored
What goes on inside your fridge
When you’ve gone and closed the door?

It’s a very well kept secret
The food would not like me to break it
But the truth is, when the door shuts
They blast the music and they shake it

Oh yes, the butter starts to boogy
and the carrots do the twist
While the milk begins the two-step
With a cold Sierra Mist

They say the lettuce is the DJ
He plays music fast and loud
While the ketchup does the robot
And the hot dogs surf the crowd

I’ve heard the grapes have funky rhythm
No one moves like a green bean
And the tortillas love to limbo
Lower than you’ve ever seen

So if you hear a thumpa bumpa
And you can’t tell what is what
It’s just your food throwing a party
While the refrigerator’s shut.

Conversation

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Said the cactus to the rose,
“How I wish I were like you.
You are pleasant for the nose
And the eyes all love you, too.
People plant you in their gardens
And they treat you with great care
Then they give you to their loved ones
Or they wear you in their hair.
No one mulches me or prunes me
No one wishes I’d grow faster
No loved one wants me for their birthday
And wearing me’d be a disaster.

Said the rose, “You must be kidding.
I’m the one who wants to be
like a cactus in the desert
Standing tall and strong and free.
You don’t need a hand to tend you.
You don’t droop in too much sun.
No one cuts you up and steals you.
They take pictures, then they’re done.
I’m at the mercy of all people.
I have thorns, but still they pick me.
While you are left alone, defended
By your skin so tough and prickly.”

Said the bee to both, “Oh, zip it!
All you flowers are so funny.
All that matters are your blossoms,
and both work fine for making honey.”

Blueberry

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a bowl full of berries helps the medicine go down

Image by Darwin Bell via Flickr

For a thing so seemingly small
Your taste is a hundred miles tall
As juicy as you are round
You’re the sweetest thing I have found
Without you it couldn’t be summer
And life would be such a bummer
You’re my favorite food that is blue
Oh blueberry, I love you

A Good Idea

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I absolutely think
You should sit up on the sink
Rub your food all through your hair
Yell and scream loud as you dare
Go in the kitchen, crack some eggs
Tip your chair back on two legs
Sneak the phone to make a call
Write with crayon on the wall
Close each door with a big slam
Never ever say “Yes, ma’am”
Try to pester your big brother
Most of all ignore your mother

‘Cause you’ll love without a doubt
To spend an hour in time out
It will be absolutely ripping
To bend over for a whipping
And nothing could be funner
Than being grounded for the summer
So won’t you listen now to me
And be as bad as you can be?

Whew. I really needed to vent some of that pent up sarcasm. Not that I’m that good at holding it in. Hey, I never claimed I was a GOOD mother.

Enough

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Hey! So we’re finally home, and I’m writing again. And feeling overwhelmed by all the stuff we brought home with us, as you can see…

Mary Elizabeth Duff
Could never own enough
From morning to night,
She bought everything in sight
Then she said, “I should find some more stuff!”

A snuff box, a bed post, a kite
She bought sheets: orange, yellow, and white
And a bigger TV
Every Friday at three
‘Til her house was crammed tighter than tight

Things went from scary to scarier
The day Mary bought a small terrier
She had never known yet
All the fun of a pet
But she now had to find something hairier

At first it was just a Great Dane
Then a monkey, with top hat and cane
It was not long, of course
‘Til she purchased a horse
With eighteen kinds of combs for its mane

Still Mary knew she needed more
So she a bought huge live dinosaur
Hard to say if it’s real
But she got a great deal
From a place she knew in Singapore

Now dinosaurs eat quite a lot
This one ate all the food Mary bought
Then it started to snack
On some spare bric-a-brac
Then moved on to the couch, chairs, and cot

When Mary got home from the store
Her house was gone…all but the door
Mary wimpered and cried
But her stuff was inside
The big belly of that dinosaur

So if you think bigger is better
Or need more even though you’re a debtor
Think of Mary alone
With her pet but no home
And sell something before you forget her

If

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If clouds were cotton candy
And Skittles rained down from the sky
I’d lay on my back and open my mouth
And I’d not bother asking why

If trees bent down to lift me
And tossed me up in the air
I’d laugh as I flew and shut my eyes
And pretend that I had no cares

If flowers could whisper stories
Tales as colorful as themselves
I’d scoot in close and bend my ear
And dream with the fairies and elves

I Think I’m Sleepy

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If I were a bird I’d soar up high
Choose a perch in the sun and close my eyes

If I were an ant I’d dig down deep
Where it’s cool and dark and I could take a sleep

If I were a fish I’d wriggle in the coral
Find a nice safe spot and start to snore-l

If I were a baby, I’d clutch my blankie tight
Snuggle up in my crib and say night-night

Mind Eraser

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Does anyone know where I can find
A giant eraser for my mind?
Today there is something that I met
That I would really rather forget,
But I’m seeing it over and over.

I was going about my daily work
Picking up toys wherever they lurk
When I reached without care under the bed
And encountered a spider as big as my head.
Ugh! I’m seeing it over and over.

I shrieked just as loud as loud could be
And that spider ran scurrying toward my knee
So I flung myself backward toward the wall.
Oh I shudder to think of that moment at all,
But I’m seeing it over and over.

Though visions of horror filled my mind
My father showed up in the nick of time
He squashed that spider with his shoe
It covered the floor with sticky goo
Ick! I’m seeing it over and over.

Oh please can’t you give me something quick?
A pill or a zap that could do the trick?
Until you erase that scene from my mind
I can’t move for fear of what I might find
As I’m seeing it over and over.

Thanks, Mama Kat, for another stellar idea. I’ll be over at the Writer’s Workshop seeing what everyone else is trying to forget.
Mama's Losin' It

Pirate Baby

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Oh, I’m the king of the wide blue sea
There’s no one who stands up to me
My cries put fear in the bravest heart
You’ll run when you see me, if you’re smart

I’m not so big, but I’m very fierce
I’ve driven many a man to tears
I’m hunted near and I’m hunted far
But I’m Pirate Baby, and I just say, “Aaarrrr!”

Pirate Baby

Linking up with Mama Kat’s again today. Check it out. It’s sure to be worth it.
Mama's Losin' It

Oh where, oh where is my lost hound?

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Has anybody seen my hound?
He’s small and black and white and brown.
He’s generally sitting ’round
Begging pats without a sound
Oh where, oh where is my lost hound?

It’s been an awful day for me.
I lost my glasses, scraped my knee,
I ran my car into a tree.
And now I’m sore and I can’t see.
Oh where, oh where can my hound be?

I’ve looked in closets, under rugs.
I’ve asked my family, gotten shrugs.
I feel quite awful; I need hugs.
My cuddly hound helps more than drugs.
Oh hound, oh hound, I need your snugs.

It’s true he always wants to play.
And sometimes likes to run away.
It’s hard for sweet hounds to obey
But this was not the time to stray
Oh why today, hound, why today?

I miss him so, it hurts my head
I guess I’ll go lie on my bed
Wait, what is that beneath the spread?
My hound, he’s here! He hasn’t fled!
Forget, forget hound what I said.