My method is guaranteed to work
But only if you never shirk
Each day your teeth you need to grit
And tell yourself you’ll never quit
Then do exactly as I say
And feel that weight just melt away.

Day one, take off jewelry, rings, bracelets and lockets
Day two, throw out all of those rocks in your pockets
Day three’s when those glasses of lead need to go
Day four, trim the nails from your fingers and toes
Day five, take your armor off, lay down your spear
Day six, pull the weeds that have grown in your ears
Day seven is wooden shoe burning time
Day eight, take a bath and wash off all the grime
Day nine, get a razor, shave off all your hair
Day ten, sell the monkey that was living up there

Now don’t you feel lighter and happier, too?
It is hard to let go, but so fun when you do.
You can run, you can jump, and it feel extra nice.
And it’s all ’cause you’re smart, and you took my advice.