A walrus would make a terrible spy
You don’t have to think hard to figure out why
Can you picture one casually walk down the street?
He would totally stand out. He doesn’t have feet!
Or what if “spy walrus” had cause to attend
A fancy dress party, where he’d have to pretend
To fit in order to find the torpedo?
There’s no way that a walrus could pull off a tuxedo!
If timing was critical, a bomb needed disarmed
A spy with no fingers would be cause for alarm
Or imagine the bad guy is getting away
Could a walrus give chase? More like waddle and sway.
Yes, perhaps underwater he could be of some use
And those tusks are quite sharp, I’m not being obtuse
But honestly, we have submarines that don’t need to eat
And a tusk-wound is not…let’s say…very discreet
So thank you for thinking outside of the box
I can’t tell you how much I enjoy these fun talks
But out here in the real world, where road’s met by rubber
We need secret agents with somewhat less blubber